Saturday, 10/27 - Ahh! My Sciatic Nerve!

I'm always fucking tired in here.   

Is there a carbon monoxide leak?

................................. maybe it's you. 

(meaning, me, Steve)



(to be sung to the tune of "The Conga Line song")





gym gym gym gym gym, Gym! gym gym gym gym gym, Gym! 

Let me talk to you about selling tickets. 

You gotta sell those tickets. 

good talk.

i'm a grown man it just feels weird to me

Hey baby, it cool if i get drunk tonight?  Stick my penis in another guuuurrrrl?  Oh you crazy, you craaaaaazy.   (Oh i'm married to Jackay) Jackaaaaaay 227!

(to be sung to the tune of "Hey Jude")

Hey you, don't make it bad... (trails off, never continues)

I'm gonna talk to james to see if he can get an intern to come 

in and massage my sciatic nerve.  All they would have to do is 

come in and massage my sciatic nerve.

NO FARMED ANIMALS ARE HURT IN THE COPULATORY PROCESS.



it would be so cool if every woman in the world would show me their boobs.
                    i wouldn't have to touch them they could just show me

                                                                      i think i have a boob fetish
                                                                                that's the one good thing about halloween


Oh! My! Ass! Hurts! So! Fucking! Bad!  -  the side of my ass


Love, 
Brandon

Saturday, 10/20 - Dinosaur Titays

"Listen, I gotta tell you something, man.  



        

I am a dinosaur who kills people.

(many incoherent mumblings in a Japanese accent)

(in song) I got some sweet, sweet titays… I wanna put 'em in my mouth and body.  I wanna touch 'em with my fingers, and my fingers.  

Boum    boum    boum boum!    Bau bau bau bau!

            OH. UMG.                                  Lick that     
                    envelope right!

let'sgogetdrunkonweed.thatsoundfun,weed?weshoulddoweedtogetherandmakememories.

Is it my nap time?  Can you massage my butt?  It hurts.  I'm having some butt pain and need a massage in this area right here." 

Love,

Brandon

This is Normal for Saturdays at iO West.

If you're reading this, you may already know Brandon J. Sornberger.  What does that mean?  I don't know.  Brandon seems to shapeshift, representing a different being and personality with different people.  To some he may be the friendly, funny guy who you see onstage.  To others, he may be the professional, down-to-business, hard-edged Bar Manager/teacher.  To me, well, to me he's everything that will be presented in this blog.  You'll very quickly learn about the Brandon only I, Steven Todd Smith, know.  You'll get to know the Brandon who I spend 2-4 hours with, cooped up in the iO West office.  So, read on, enjoy, and meet Brandon J. Sornberger.

Welcome to Brandon's mind.